Time for another Sparkle Saturday! Today I’m sharing my three ideas to deal with negative people (video link here). This is a BIG issue a lot of us face in daily life when it comes to friends, acquaintances, co-workers and even family members. In order to clear your mind and stay on track with your vision and goals, you have to have a method on how to handle those folks who love to drag their cloud into your sunshine.
A lot of times people will ask me why I’m always chirpy and smiley. It’s not always easy, I have to work at it just like everyone else. I’ve had my share of negative people in my life and I had to work hard to find a way to not let them get under my skin. I’ve built a strong bubble of protection around me and do my best to block out bad energy. When the lame stuff does sneak in, I can spot it right away.
I touch on these issues in my video, but I’ll expand a bit here.
My tips on how to deal with negative people:
Consider the source. This is something my mom and dad always told me as I grew up. From bullies in grade school to co-workers in the office. You have to consider their upbringing, personality, other areas of their lives and how they handle it. It’s like when you come across a crazy news article, before you believe it, you check the source of where it came from. If it is reputable, you give respect, but if it is some shady site or outlet, you know not to trust it. Now translate this to the person – If they constantly bring you down and have a track record for whining, lying, bragging, gossiping, shouting outrageous things to get attention, accusing others, pointing out flaws, complaining, bullying, if their life is a mess, etc – you know what to expect. Maybe even look deeper as to why they are like that. Don’t be surprised, upset or let their words get under your skin. Find a way to distance your attention for your own sanity and time. The best solution is to be the example to them of how you want to be treated.
However , if it is someone you admire and respect, take time to see if they have a valid point. Try to dig deep and find out the root of the issue. Talk about it. Another thing, if someone really bothers you, look within yourself and be honest as to why they rub you the wrong way. This leads to the next tip…
Debbie Downer or Tough Love Friend? Recognize the difference between people who talk empty-calorie smack all day and people who truly are in your corner and those who want to enlighten you. A true friend doesn’t say “yes” to everything, but will offer truth and solutions that maybe you haven’t been able to see. Respect and hold on to those people. I call my closest friends my Jedi Council. We all know we have eachother best intentions at heart and speak from a place of love. I can ask them point blank questions and I’ll respect their input and opinion. Sometimes the best thing you can offer a loved one is tough love. They may not get it right away, but it will eventually sink in.
Celebrate the motivators! Think back to a time when someone was mean or rude to you and you posted on social media “TO THE GUY WHO GAVE ME A DIRTY LOOK AT THE STORE TODAY….” – Um, chances are he is not reading your status update, but your close friends are. Why shout and scold us for something we wouldn’t do to you? Usually we do this to get it off our chest or maybe we just want a cyber hug because our feelings were hurt. Think of another way to frame it. Maybe instead of shouting or cussing in all caps to the stranger, you frame it as something that happened to you that sucked and you’re happy you have nice people around you. Every time someone is mean to you, go do something nice for someone else! Reward the kind people in your life. Don’t give the negative folks the power to turn you into a grumpy person! Instead, recognize and show appreciation to the cheerleaders in your life!
Well, that’s it for this edition of Sparkle Saturday! How do you deal with negative people? Let me know in the comments so we can all learn together!
Oh Crafty Chica you couldn’t have hit this more on the proverbial head than you did! I recently ended a 30 + year friendship due to my friend being a constant ‘Debbie downer’. I have listened to her whining and complaining for YEARS. I used to take her side, felt sorry for her…but this past year she did/said some things that I NEVER expected to come out of her mouth, and I gave her an ultimatum, to either figure out what she could do to turn all the negatives into a positive(I grew tired of giving advice she wouldn’t listen to), or lose me as a friend because her constant complaining was going to force me to choose sides. I even told her ‘you won’t like the side I chose’. Since then, I don’t hear from her as often(we kept in touch on FB). I guess I really wasn’t her friend after all. She dragged me into her emotional circus and when I bailed, she dropped me like a barrel of monkeys. But you know what? I haven’t felt this free since I first met her at the age of 18(I am now 56). I don’t need, nor want her drama in my life anymore.
Oh, Daisy, I get you! Sometimes it’s easier for people to keep complaining than to break a sweat, take a risk and do something to break out of the comfort zone and make a change. It’s fear-based! It’s hard to watch, especially when they ask for advice and don’t do any of it!
Great post Kathy! I did wonder how you kept the smile on your face. Very sensible advice- hugs my friend!