Little worries that mess with your head about who you are and what you are doing. Many times we hide our insecurities, or send them into PostSecret.com. We should say them out loud because whether we like it or not, they have a role in our thought process, decision making, writing, art, friendships all our interactions. If we can identify them and even cry a few tears to let them out we can move on to bigger and better things.
This is totally silly, lord knows I have bigger issues to deal with, but here goes. OK. I am all about wanting to inspire others. I give away the milk for free, it makes me happy to do so. I’ve been through many ups and downs in my goal of living an artful life, that I feel my mission is to share that. I’m not an A+ artist or writer, but I love both, have a strong spirit and don’t let my lack of talent stop me from enjoying new paints, papers, my computer keyboard. It is freeing! It feels so good I want to encourage other people to let go of their fear and give it a try. I’ve met scores of amazing women from all cultures and social backgrounds and have built lasting friendships of sisterhood.
This summer I came across a local artist’s blog and I loved it. The voice and story reminded me so much of me when I started doing all of this. I was so excited, and felt a connection. I commented cheers on the blog, signed up for all their social networks, told my friends, looked forward to getting to know them, etc. We had so much in common! Come to find out, while this person is friends with all my friends, they want nothing to do with me. My mind has raced with reasons. Maybe I’m not artful enough, or maybe I’m too crafty. Maybe because I’m scatterbrained. Maybe they don’t like the product line or my books. Maybe they don’t like my blog. Maybe my projects aren’t good enough. I could go on forever. Regardless, this person did not think I was worthy enough to be accepted in their elite art circle.
After making a fool of myself to be accepted by this person and having them reluctantly respond, I STILL tried to win them over. Finally, I realized I had to let it go. Why was it so important to me? Truth is, no matter how good your intention, we can never please everyone. So I did it, I let go. I sent out a positive message to the universe to this person and I moved on. I feel a lot better. I feel like I want to create again without worrying if it is good enough.
Years ago, I had an art customer write me to tell me she was unhappy with her love shrine kit (pre-product line, I used to make and sell my own kits). It was a cool kit, I hand picked all these pretty papers and accessories. I wanted her to be happy. So I issued a refund AND sent her a new love shrine kit with double the amount of free goodies to help her bring love into her life. Now she had two love shrine kits!
She sent it all back to me with a note that said something like:
la más grande la pared la más delgada la pintura (the bigger the wall the thinner the paint)
Ugh. She still didn’t take my happy! WHA?? In the end, I felt like she did it just to bring me down. It occurred to me that she needed more than an art kit to bring love into her life – and number two, she had a point with that quote. I was overextending myself trying to please everyone under the sun. That is impossible. We have to do what we love because we love it and not because we want to impress people or win respect. If you do what you love, it will show and the rest will happen naturally.
CRAFTY CHICA LESSON LEARNED: This relates to your crafts, your business, family, work, school: The more your put yourself out there and the more you succeed, the more critics you will have. Be ready for it, get thick skin, and do not let it stop you from doing what you love. Believe in yourself. Be faithful to those who support you, give thanks.
And in spite of those critics and judges, don’t do the same as them. Open your heart and mind. Have compassion for the one who finally put their foot on the first ladder step, as well as the one climbing steadily in the middle, and the one teetering to hang on to the top. The one who is opposite of you – as well as the one who is your mirror image. And if you have someone bringing you down, do your best to move past it so you can focus on the positive aspects of your life. Give more brain space to that! And to the judgies: When someone reaches out to you because they like what you do, be thankful, not picky!
Everyone deserves support in one way or another. If we all help each other out, EVERYONE will have a turn in the spotlight and have a chance to shine!
And we all know the more shine, the better, right?
Do you have a story about someone who made you feel inadequate? How did you deal with it?
Here is a video from Jill Scott that I love. It’s about not letting judgy people get you down.Love & light,